Question…

How can I attend an appointment if the appointment was before I knew about it? Seriously… How? 

You may remember a few posts back I moaned about a thing I went to where they expected me to go to a group session, well, about a week ago I received a bunch of appointment letters, they expect me to go to about 10 appointments in the next 2 months, yeah, that’s not going to happen. Also, I received another letter yesterday, the date it was posted was the 11th but the appointment was for the 10th (and yes, I checked the right month etc).

And yet they blame me for not attending….

People really do confuse me,

On a slightly more upbeat note, I’m going away for a week next month, unsure how I’ll handle that but if it will get me in the sun and away from those damned letters then I’ll give it my best shot. It’s been 9 years since I have left the UK so I am genuinely looking  forward to getting away for a bit of R&R, plus most school’s will be open again by then so I won’t be surrounded by screaming children and large groups of people. Only going to Spain but still, get’s me away for a bit doesn’t it? And after 9 years I’m not really picky. 

Another plus side, ‘Dominion’ will be finished before I leave so I won’t be sitting around wondering what I’ve missed so that’s good! (Poor Michael!!).

Anyway, just another quick update as I haven’t done so as much as I would like. 

Hope to have something more interesting soon.

Please bare with me! 

Yours, 

Rose. 

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

Long Time Coming & Upcoming Horror Talks.

Hello strangers,

Sorry for the not-so-anticipated wait, I suppose a small catch up is in order.

Me, being the unique individual that I am, injured both my feet at the same time. It didn’t happen in some weird way either, I simply slipped. Right foot is broken and the left has deep tissue damage so, Go me!

Hmm, what else? Oh! I managed to go outside alone (literally across the road, also the day I hurt my feet but before I went to the hospital) to see my very loving brother, didn’t end well. According to D, I am perfectly fine mentally and physically and I need to stop making excuses no matter what the doctor says and stop being so lazy. There you have it folks! From the very reliable source that is my brother, there is no such thing as mental health problems and physical injures and an exaggeration.

On a good note though, I did manage to go outside no matter how it ended. I have also had a regular visitor lately in the form of one of my oldest friends (I think he just likes laughing at me hobbling along on my crutches though) . It has just been decided that after my doctor’s appointment today we are going to blog together and review as we watch.

My friend, he goes by Oscar online, has a horror movie review blog. I’m not sure how this double blogging is going to work out but we’ll find a way! Link to his blog at the bottom of this post, please check it out!

Wish me luck at the doctor’s and I shall catch you all later!

Rose.

Oscar Stokerhttps://oscarstoker.wordpress.com/

In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.” – Nikos Kazantzakis

Laziness should be a legitimate excuse for anything.

Hello people/others.

Don’t you think that being lazy should get you out of unnecessary things? You just have those days (or weeks!) when you just don’t want to do anything right? Case in point; I’ve spent the last few days doing nothing but reading in bed, it’s been lovely but I’m starting to run out of things to read.

The new session of ‘Dominion’ has finally arrived though! Good time to be positive. All I need now for for a few other shows to start (mainly ‘Supernatural’) and I shall have temporary happiness.

I really should catch up on the ‘Bleach’ manga but since the ending of Naruto I’m worried. I know, the ending was predictable but I was still slightly disappointed.

What else can I do? Watch T.V? pfft!

I had a visit from the police the other day (I did nothing!), there had been complaints about arguing coming from close by and a guy had been arrested. You notice how when people find out that something is wrong with you either mentally or physically they say sorry? Why are they sorry? It’s not like it’s their fault. It’s nice of them and all but really? Everyone says sorry for everything, no wonder it’s hardly ever believed any more.

Yours,

Rose.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”  – Winston Churchill

People are idiots.

It’s true! Let me explain.

I was going to explain in detail but that would take far to long. Let’s put it this way, I went for an appointment this morning and the woman I seen completely disregarded my file and the state I was in (I was pale, shaking and stuttering like a fool in a crowded open plan office). Apparently she is going to help me look for a job (which I am not allowed to do for the next 2 years at least) and then telling me not to worry as I will only be there about once a week and I will be part of a group. How is that not worrying for me? Does she even know what social anxiety is?

Oh, and as I am how I am, I can’t actually go out alone as I have anxiety attacks so I only leave if my mother comes with me (which my file states) yet she expects me to go there alone every week to sit with strangers and talk about what I’m doing to look for work.

Am I taking this out of proportion or is my stress justified?

Is it any wonder why I don’t like people?

Rose.

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. ” –  P. J. O’Rourke

Is it the Apocalypse!?

Good day people!

As this title suggests, I believe the apocalypse is upon us! Reason being…. there is a bright light in Scotland! It’s sitting smugly in the sky shinning brightly down on us. Does anyone know what it is? I’m very confused.

Any, I found a support website for mental health, although it is generally based in Edinburgh I am sure there will be some helpful information for others (It’s not like different cities or countries are immune to these issues). Unlike a lot of websites like these, this one does actually try to be helpful and doesn’t just assume things about us, it also provides event open days for people with all sorts of problems. I hope you find it useful. Anyway, here it is: http://www.edspace.org.uk/

On a more exciting note, the registration for this years GISHWHES is coming up in 2 weeks so get joining! If you have no idea what this is then look it up! It’s awesome. A worldwide, record breaking scavenger hunt! It’s run by the lovely Misha Collins which helps it’s appeal. My only downer about this is that I can’t join this year, I’m not exactly jumping up and down about going outside am I? But, it does give me something to aim for next year, I must improve! Also, I can’t forget to mention, the grand prize for winning is a trip to Costa Rica with Misha. Who wouldn’t want to win!?

Today is a good day, let’s try to stay positive.

As one of my favourite red-headed, lesbian fictional characters would say: “Peace out, Bitches!” (Charlie – Supernatural)

Rose

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi

Finally!

I am so sorry!

I know I said I would try to update this regularly but well… as you can see that did not work out as intended. To be fair, the e-mail account and username I used for this completely went out of my mind and it has taken me about 2 hours of sitting here typing away and getting a headache to get back in.

Anyway, hopefully now that I’m back in I can actually start updating.

I’m in a good mood today which makes a change, although I have not slept in roughly 28 hours. I finally found an on-line course for myself! It’s only a Higher National Certificate (HNC) but I figured it would be a good way to slowly get back into it right? It’s completely on-line too which makes me all the more comfortable. No going outside or sitting in a small room with those people things.

If you have not guessed from my previous paragraph my anxiety has not went anywhere unfortunately. The docs have increased my medication now (I’m currently on Sertraline, for now) but still nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, I have managed to go outside, I actually managed to get myself down to England for a family wedding! I won’t even start on how messed up I was after but I held myself together as well as I could. Tried not too show how much I was being effected by the large crowds so I didn’t worry anyone or spoil the day. I don’t actually think I have left my home since I got back actually and that was at the beginning of June.

——————————————————————————————————-

Oh! I am unsure if this will actually be interesting to anyone but I finally got The Sims 4! I am being slowly tempted to learn Simmish (Is that what it’s called? The language used (made up) in the game?). I’m not entirely sure what too make of it yet, it’s got some neat things but it will take me a while to get used to it I guess.

Right then, I am going to have a look for links/references etc so hopefully there will be something of value up during today.

Wish me luck!

Rose.

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” –  Albert Einstein 

Welcome!

Hello all!

Thank you for checking this out. I suppose I should start by introducing myself, I’m Rose. I’m afraid it is not actually my name but as I hope you will soon see, there is a reason for this so please bear with me.

I am an early – mid twenties female human being that currently lives in Scotland, I was born in England, but as I have said, I unfortunately do not live there now. I was a college student studying Psychology, Sociology, Criminology & English Lit etc but unfortunately due to the health issues, I had to leave during my third year.

I wanted to start this blog to help people understand issues , thoughts and worries of people in my situation. I have been a long sufferer of insomnia, severe depression and have also been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder.

My aim for this originally was just for somewhere to write down my thoughts, almost like a journal, but then I thought about how I can rarely find anything on-line11.00 that I can relate to and decided that although I will still use this page as I first wanted, I hope that if others find this and read it, it will somehow help them. Even if you are reading this as research, to understand someone close to you or even just for yourself so you can know that what you are feeling, you are not alone.

I am unsure on how often I will have a chance to update this but I will try my best.

I shall stay cautiously optimistic I think.

Until next time,

Rose.

Obviously, because of my disability, I need assistance. But I have always tried to overcome the limitations of my condition and lead as full a life as possible. I have travelled the world, from the Antarctic to zero gravity.” – Stephen Hawking