People are idiots.

It’s true! Let me explain.

I was going to explain in detail but that would take far to long. Let’s put it this way, I went for an appointment this morning and the woman I seen completely disregarded my file and the state I was in (I was pale, shaking and stuttering like a fool in a crowded open plan office). Apparently she is going to help me look for a job (which I am not allowed to do for the next 2 years at least) and then telling me not to worry as I will only be there about once a week and I will be part of a group. How is that not worrying for me? Does she even know what social anxiety is?

Oh, and as I am how I am, I can’t actually go out alone as I have anxiety attacks so I only leave if my mother comes with me (which my file states) yet she expects me to go there alone every week to sit with strangers and talk about what I’m doing to look for work.

Am I taking this out of proportion or is my stress justified?

Is it any wonder why I don’t like people?

Rose.

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. ” –  P. J. O’Rourke

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Finally!

I am so sorry!

I know I said I would try to update this regularly but well… as you can see that did not work out as intended. To be fair, the e-mail account and username I used for this completely went out of my mind and it has taken me about 2 hours of sitting here typing away and getting a headache to get back in.

Anyway, hopefully now that I’m back in I can actually start updating.

I’m in a good mood today which makes a change, although I have not slept in roughly 28 hours. I finally found an on-line course for myself! It’s only a Higher National Certificate (HNC) but I figured it would be a good way to slowly get back into it right? It’s completely on-line too which makes me all the more comfortable. No going outside or sitting in a small room with those people things.

If you have not guessed from my previous paragraph my anxiety has not went anywhere unfortunately. The docs have increased my medication now (I’m currently on Sertraline, for now) but still nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, I have managed to go outside, I actually managed to get myself down to England for a family wedding! I won’t even start on how messed up I was after but I held myself together as well as I could. Tried not too show how much I was being effected by the large crowds so I didn’t worry anyone or spoil the day. I don’t actually think I have left my home since I got back actually and that was at the beginning of June.

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Oh! I am unsure if this will actually be interesting to anyone but I finally got The Sims 4! I am being slowly tempted to learn Simmish (Is that what it’s called? The language used (made up) in the game?). I’m not entirely sure what too make of it yet, it’s got some neat things but it will take me a while to get used to it I guess.

Right then, I am going to have a look for links/references etc so hopefully there will be something of value up during today.

Wish me luck!

Rose.

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” –  Albert Einstein